Fairy Falls
Our one-year anniversary was yesterday, but in typical fashion we waited until the next day to celebrate (we usually celebrate major holidays and our birthdays when it’s convenient or when we feel like it, rather than on their prescribed dates). After a large breakfast we headed to the Columbia River Gorge to fulfill our annual waterfall quota (I swear each hike in the gorge yields great views of at least six magnificent waterfalls).
We started at the Multnomah Falls parking lot with the crowds of foreign tourists, school groups, and young families. As you climb the switchbacks (11 switchbacks of undisclosed length) the crowds slowly taper off (most often due to swift the elevation gain, improper foot wear, a very unhappy child or all three). Most people don’t even make it past the lodge or the small bridge that sits picturesquely midway through the falls (which is fine by me). Near switchback 9 of 11 we spotted what we think was a banana slug…which prompted Jeff to dare me to lick it.
I’m no sucker, I let Jeff go first.
Upper Multnomah Falls 
The unsuspecting Banana Slug
The story goes (if you live in the Pacific Northwest, you’ve certainly heard it) that if you lick a banana slug your tongue goes numb. My big brother and I made my little brother do it when we were younger, but I honestly can’t remember the outcome and I’m not sure my brother was old enough to even know the meaning of the word numb. Jeff waited for a steady stream of hikers to walk by (inquire about why we had pulled over, remark on the size of the slug between us, take a picture or two, make a joke about licking it and leave) before kneeling and licking the speckled body of the unassuming slug (which was busy munching on something a previous hiker had left behind). I was less concerned about an audience, so some of the hikers behind us got a bit of a show.
Jeff going in (can’t see the slug due to my poor photography skills) 
A rather suggestive picture.
We looked at each other, a quizzical expression on both of our faces, no words exchanged. I packed up my camera and we proceeded down the trail. ‘Do you feel it? Is your tongue numb?’ Jeff asked in a couple of paces. ‘I don’t know.’ I replied, rolling my tongue around in my mouth. ‘It just feels kind of…sour.’ ‘Huh. Yeah.’ ‘How about yours?’ ‘I think mine is a little numb.’ Truth be told, I’m not sure if my tongue was actually tingly or if I was just wishing my mouth to feel different. Our hike towards Wahkena Falls was punctuated by musings about the banana slug (I could write a whole separate post about how awesome those slimy little creatures are), whether or not we “felt it” and if we had licked the slug properly (is there a proper way to lick a slug?)
After a Southern inspired dinner at Miss Delta in Portland we returned to the boat to watch the DVD of our wedding. We snuggled, we laughed, we cringed, I cried a little. As I watched our wedding vows, I was pleased to discover that by licking a banana slug I was partially fulfilling one of them:
- Harmony, do you vow to avenge any and all pranks perpetuated by your husband mercilessly, appropriately, and with glee in the spirit of fun? You betcha.
My liberal read of this vow also covers dares. I look forward to the many years ahead of adventures, pranks, dares and similarly romantic encounters.
– H