My favorite family portrait. Christian has a black eye, Lukas is bald, I have no front teeth and my mom’s hair was wild. Good times.
I turned 29 on Wednesday. I am officially entering the last year of my twenties. When Jeff asked me if there’s anything I needed to check off of my list to ensure that my twenties were sufficiently crazy and irresponsible, I couldn’t really come up with an answer. Truth be told, I’m pretty happy with my twenties thus far, though I can’t say that this decade of my life was the least bit crazy or irresponsible. Some would say that living on a boat in Mexico could qualify, but it’s all in the eye of the beholder I guess. Even the sucky parts of the last near decade were still pretty good. I’m grateful to be where I am, to have what I have, to know what and who I know – I have a lot of people in my life to thank for making life what it is today.
On my twentieth birthday, my golden birthday, I went to a tattoo parlor with my best friend Jill and had three interlinking circles tattooed on my lower back. One circle represents my mother, one represents my grand mother, and one represents my great grandmother – the beautiful, strong and resourceful women who made my life possible. With my mom’s permission I’m posting a story she wrote to me on my birthday. We always celebrate together, even when we’re miles apart.
On the Sunday before you were born I
awoke and spent much of the day with a strange sensation; I felt absolutely no
movement in my belly. There were none of
the little nudges or kicks, no reaction after my meals and not even an active
day outside changed things. I tried to
keep calm and be sensible but finally about 6pm called the midwife and agreed
to meet at her office. On the way there you
suddenly became so active I felt silly for making a fuss but we went ahead with
a quick check anyways. All was just
fine…with you.
Near midnight on Monday (with almost 2
weeks until due date) my water broke so I called the midwife and she told me to
keep her posted on how things were progressing.
After changing the bedding and getting some things organized your dad
went back to sleep. I called my mom (almost 3am her time) because I couldn’t
sleep and really wanted to talk to someone. Not long after that I told my mom I loved her
lots, that I better have the midwives come soon and I would let her know
details asap!
At 4:55 on Tuesday morning you entered
‘the real world’ with a most calm demeanor.
The setting in our home was peaceful and (may I say it)
harmonious…unlike what our everyday lives were like. Several hours later (there are a few things
to attend to after a birth) I was able to make calls to family but I couldn’t
reach anyone in MN, so I called Mary in Georgia. She was so elated to be the first to hear
about you, and wasn’t it sad that you would never meet our grandma. “Wait! What did you say?” “OMG” Mary says, “you didn’t know?” No. No
one in the family was to tell me that my 93 year old grandma had gone into the
hospital on Saturday for exploratory surgery.
My mom knew that if I went into labor too early (a date which had
passed) I would be required to have a hospital birth.
My grandma Emily hadn’t been in a
hospital since giving birth to her last children (twins) more than 60 years
earlier. She and I had a very tried,
tested and true relationship. I’m sure
she didn’t approve of some of my life choices (especially the ones I assumed
she knew nothing of…Hah!) but I sensed she always appreciated my
“gumption”. (One of her favorite words
which I just looked up in the dictionary for the first time. It partially fits.) I thought of this strong, independent,
opinionated woman who at 18 left Denmark (first booked on the Titanic but had
change of plans), made her own way through very challenging times and then, deciding
when enough was enough, just left!
HURRAY for her! What I didn’t get
was why my mom would think that I, (who was trying to avoid a demeaning hospital birthing experience like my first
one) would have my resolve broken by the news that this very old gem of a woman had once again become captain of her own
ship!
My grandma Alice and oldemor (great grandmother) Emilie.
Harmony, you come from a long line of
women who have resolve, initiative and resourcefulness. These are traits that can get you through
some of the hardest times you’ll face in life.
They are also the things that will help you make the best of the gifts
given to you. When doubt begins to creep
in about whether you should try, which way to turn, how much to give or what
you can bear? Think about that Sunday,
March 18, 1984 when your spirit seemed to be absent from my body for so
long. Unbeknownst to me that was the
same period of time your Oldemor, a very dear friend and guide in my life, was
passing. I truly believe the two of you
were sharing some time and space so she could infuse you with what is really
meaningful in our blessed lives.
Thank
you for choosing me as your mother. Happy Birthday to us!
Happy birthday to us, indeed!